Ahh, the New Phase of love How sweet that phase can be in any occasion? The new love of a car, job, shoes, and a relationship can seem very fulfilling in the beginning. There is kissing, cuddling, new personality discoveries, the first time, and an endless trail of possibilities that may result in your new love. In the beginning stages, it seems that no one or nothing else matters. Even the past relationships significance have been reduced in some cases. You have finally moved on! You have finally found someone that could be everything that you didn’t receive in the past relationship(s).
As I sit here in my chair deep in thought about that last sentence, listening to soft R&B music for mental stimulation, I wonder if a key part of our journey in love, the journey to finally reach the destination where you meet “the one”, overlaps with the introduction of having someone else in our lives. I had a friend tell me that men are like sharks. If sharks don’t move then they will drown. And women, we spend time grieving over our lost love, but when someone else comes along, that tends to help the process. So in essence, men and women both move on from their previous relationships at some point in very different ways. But I wonder does the overlapping of relationships do more damage than good? How do you ever really know if you are over that person?
In my experience, you can’t judge the strength of a relationship until after it has surpassed, at least, 6 months. That is usually when things become real. The things that you thought were interesting and new before begins to become annoying and irritating; what you thought was a misunderstanding and a misrepresentation of one’s character becomes obvious to you that may be who that person is; and what turned you on before begins to become redundant. Now, here comes the work you suddenly realize. You are on the interface of either staying or leaving. But what if this was a relationship that you used to move on from your past? Sure it eased the pain before because it was new. But what does a person do when the thrill is gone? When the daily text messages have ceased? When the sex is no longer a mystery and becomes almost predictable? When you are no longer seeing and talking to each other every day and you actually don’t mind it? Although this does not happen to every couple and it may extend past 6 months, but when this period occurs where stagnation or innovation are the only two options, what do you do once that “new period” ends?