You guys know that I am all about the “sexy”. Sexy to me doesn’t have to go back to sex itself, it also means something or someone with “swag” or that is really cool. But I figured, this post should be sexy in every sense of the word. Seeing how I am going to be a married woman soon, I often think of ways of how I can keep my marriage sexy and fun! We hear a lot about how marriage is the graveyard for romance, marriage is hard, and not to mention the climbing divorce rate in this country. But I want a marriage that will last forever and is hott and steamy. This is a guest post by Karen Stern. She is a freelance writer from Los Angeles who specializes in articles about long-term relationships and how to keep them lively. When she’s not writing/researching, Karen is searching for the perfect sushi restaurant. I hope we you get something out of it.
Ten years ago, you never would have thought you would be able to cram as many things into the day as you do now. Between juggling kids, work, errands, household chores and a marriage, you’re literally squeezing out every second of the day that you can. While some days are great, others are just exhausting.
When it’s like this, it’s so easy to get swept up in the chaos of it all. Life moves quicker and before you know it, days, weeks and months have gone by. While “things” are consistently getting done, relationships can actually suffer. That’s why you occasionally need to step back and evaluate the chaos around you. Sure you may have talked to your spouse last night, but when was the last time you sat down and bonded or even had some alone time? Are you becoming more like roommates than actual husband and wife? If the answer is yes, it’s time to add one more thing to your to-do list, because this chaos isn’t worth it all if you aren’t grounding yourself in your marriage and finding stability, love and support there.
Interject some of these quick tips into your marriage so you can rekindle the flame even on your busiest days.
Alone time is rare, that is why you have actually sit down and schedule out a weekly/monthly date night with a possible annual weekend getaway thrown into the mix. And if you’re in need of some ideas, The Nest has a ton of good ones. Then, decide what kind of frequency works best for the two of you and stick to it no matter what. Mark it on the calendar, get a babysitter in advance and schedule around it. This night is just as important as any meeting, gym session or outing that may get in the way. It will help you reconnect and truly talk to one another. Make this time a kid- and work-free zone where you can’t talk about either.
Ditch the sweats:
Nothing kills the sexy vibes like coming to bed in grease-stained sweatpants and a tee. You’re already putting on clothes, so opt for something a little more sexy that can get your partner excited. like As noted here by Adam and Eve, “nothing makes you feel sexier than lingerie” and that goes for “whether you’re dressing up for a special occasion or just want to surprise your lover.” Agreed. Adding lingerie to your love-making routine makes it all the more special and is a great way to revive your sex life while making you feel confident and attractive.
Up the communication:
Having a date night is great, but it doesn’t allow you to reconnect every day. This is why you should figure out how to talk to each other every day for at least 30 minutes. You may need to move some things around, but that’s the point. Perhaps you call each other on your way home from work or cut your TV time in half to head to bed a little early. Put down everything you’re doing and actually talk to one another. It will help give the two of you stability as well as keep you on top of their wants and needs.
Compliment each other every day:
You were both full of compliments when you first started dating, like “>these noted at About.com. Years later, nothing is really new. You’re no longer surprised and compliments have fallen by the wayside. Bring them back by telling your spouse they look great, that the food they cook is amazing and that you really appreciate how they always do certain things so well. Complimenting someone and showing that you appreciate them is an immediate mood booster and can be contagious.
Reevaluate your schedules:
As life gets busier, we take more and more on without stopping to really examine what we’re doing. Sit down and reevaluate the chores, errands and tasks list that the two of you do and then redistribute. Perhaps one of you likes to take the kids to soccer more than the other and one of you enjoys grocery shopping more. You may not have known this because you both just assumed roles and took them on. However, aligning all of your to-dos can help make you both happier and less stressed out, which in turn leads to a healthier relationship for the two of you.